List Monster

It's so funny to me that no matter how expensive of a toy you buy your child, they'll still be happier with a piece of paper - preferably a useful one such as a grocery list. Because of this, my grocery shopping trips have taken on an element of competition now. Can I shop faster than Sim can eat my grocery list? If I'm really on my game, I usually only have two or three things left to find by the time she's mutilated my list beyond recognition. I try to buy her off with toys or other bits of paper, but it's futile. She only wants my list and then she wants to gum it to pulp. Letting her play with it keeps her happy. Letting her play with it too long leads to me curtailing my trip because I haven't a clue what I'm supposed to be buying without a list. I keep wondering what other shoppers think when they see me mumbling to myself and trying to piece soggy bits of paper back into something meaningful. Does that say olives? Did I need olives? I can't remember.